COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON

As the year 2015 winds down, I write to appreciate all my readers and those who casually visit my blog and to thank you immensely for your comments, criticisms and support. The year 2015 has indeed been a challenging and eventful year especially for those of us in Sub-Saharan Africa with the political and economic changes that have swept the continent this past year.

Be that as it may, I believe that we all have cause to be grateful to God for sustaining us throughout the year. If you are still in your marriage or you have a home, you should be specially grateful to God because yours is not among the statistics of broken homes and marriages.

As many homes are constantly under the attack of the wicked one, my prayer for you is that God Almighty will keep your marriage and your home now and in the coming year.

I also pray that your home will become a model of God's infinite mercy and grace and that you will live to reflect God's glory.

As the year 2015 expires, may trouble and sickness expire from your life; may the struggles and challenges of life expire with the year 2015; may you arise form every backwater to shine in the coming year.

Once again, I extend on behalf of my wife and children our hearty compliments of the season and to wish you a prosperous 2016.

God bless you.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com 
www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org  

SEX AND MARRIAGE

This is one topic that I have been running away from addressing because it is something that is very private and sometimes embarrassing to discuss publicly.

Unfortunately, this is one subject that is very important to having a healthy marriage and one that cannot be taken for granted.

Concerning the issue of sex generally, there is so much misinformation and because these issues are not dealt with on the family table as it were, every child growing up ultimately finds out about sex from friends and peers. In the end many people come away with a wrong view of sex and its purpose.

I will like to remind you of the saying by Mills Munroe that if the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse becomes inevitable.

So what is the purpose of sex? Why did God put this desire in us? Why are we not hermaphrodites?

A good place to begin finding answers will be in the word of God itself.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed. Genesis 2: 24-25.

"And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord." Genesis 4:1

The first thing to say about sex, is that it was created by God. It was God who created the man and the woman and brought them together. So sex in its pristine form is God's idea.

The second thing to say is that it is God's intention that sex should be between a man (husband) and a woman (his wife).

The third thing I will like to state is that sex is supposed to be between two intimate people (male and female) in a marital set up. The idea that Adam KNEW his wife presupposes that there was intimacy as a prerequisite for sex. Therefore this clearly precludes casual sex or sex without any form of commitment.

More next time.

God bless you.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com 
www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org  

FAMILY FINANCES 2

Last time I tired to look at the reason why many women view monies collected from them by their husbands to solve family issues as loans rather than their own contributions to the upkeep of the home.

In some cases such issue have led to serious quarrels and you hear men complaining that when the woman asks for money, the man does not see it as a loan but an obligation being fulfilled. I am yet to know any man (except he is a Gigolo) who does not fell proud to e able to meet the needs of his wife.

In other to solve this problem, I will strongly recommend that couples run a joint account where both of them will be signatories to the account to handle such emergencies. The man may decide to set aside say 10% of his monthly income which will be paid into the joint account. The woman on her own may decide to contribute say 5% of her own income.

Whatever monies is deposited in the joint account will be controlled by both of them as no one can withdraw from the account without the consent of the other.

Another suggestion is that families should try as much as possible to operate a monthly budget. Sit down with your spouse and outline how much the family will be spending on a monthly basis. This is especially important in a month like December when the family expenses is likely to rise without any corresponding rise in income.

Budgeting has many advantages including helping to curb impulse buying and keeping your spending on essentials only.

The Lord bless and keep your home.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com 
www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org  

FAMILY FINANCES - WHO OWNS WHAT 1

I have heard many women complain that whenever their husbands borrow money from them the husbands never pay back and this has gotten me thinking recently about the dynamics of family finances.

Family finances is an important aspect of the home and if not properly handled can lead to very unpleasant consequences.

Now let me say categorically that I believe strongly that it is the man’s responsibility to cater for his family. By catering it must be understood to mean providing food, shelter, education and security for his family. Everyman worth his salt should pray to be able always to fulfill this obligation without sweat.

Unfortunately, the reality shows that not many men are able for varied reasons to always fulfill this obligation; sometimes because they are temporary out of job or their payments are delayed and at such times have to depend on their wives to augment whatever they can provide.

Now the issue at stake is that many women see such “help” as a loan to the man. Whatever comes from the woman is visualized as being borrowed by the man to solve a problem. There is the case of a man who asked his wife for some money for petrol (gasoline) and she recorded it as a loan to the man.

On the other hand from my experience when a wife asks the husband for money outside the regular upkeep, many men do not consider such monies as loans, so why do women see their assistance in terms of helping the family to stay afloat as a commercial venture?

I have come to understand that the problem is in our culture and the woman’s psyche! Women are brought up to believe that it is the sole responsibility of the man to cater for the welfare of the home. In other words the man’s money is our money (family money) while the woman’s money is hers.

It will do the family a whole lot of good is this perception is changed. Whatever income comes to the family, either from the woman or the man, ought to be treated as family income.

I am not for one moment suggesting that the man should shirk his responsibility but what I am advocating is that the woman must see herself as a partner with the man in catering for the needs of the home. It is a partnership that floats or sinks together according to God’s plan and purpose.

Whatever monies I have “borrowed’ from my wife, in solving family and not personal issues, ought to be written off as “bad debt”.

I rest my case.

God bless you.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com 
www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org