MONEY MANAGEMENT IN THE HOME 3

Can two walk together except they agree? Amos 3:3

In looking at money management in the home there is a principle that many know but do not apply and this is the principle of running a family budget.

A budget is simply a financial plan that outlines how monies (receivables) will be spent. Various sums of money are allocated to areas based on priority. It must be emphasized that a budget cannot be governed by what one wants but what is needful.

Every couple that wants to enjoy financial freedom but form the habit of budgeting for their expenses on a monthly basis. From my experience I have discovered that you then to overspend if you spend impulsively without a well thought out and articulate plan.

Lets us look closely as the benefits of a family budget.
1. It helps you to see on a broad basis if your present income is capable of meeting your needs. This is important because you want to avoid the situation where you have to borrow money to meet your needs. Borrowing puts you in bondage and everyone needs to escape the debt trap.

2. Secondly, it helps you to attend to the things that are most important to your life first before other things like luxurious items or pleasure

3. It enables you to avoid impulse spending, a propensity that you and I have. Every time money comes into ones hands there is always that lure to want to begin to buy the things that are attractive to the eyes. I have noticed that it is when I have a lot of money at hand that I want to indulge myself in some pleasure spending.

4. It help you to discipline yourself financially. With a budget you are constrained to cut your cut not according to your size but according to your cloth. You learn to do the things that are most important and leave the rest. Once you are able to discipline yourself in how you spend money then it is easy to discipline yourself in many other areas.

In developing a monthly budget, the couple must seat down together to outline their expenses and draw up a list that will be followed. A typical monthly budget will be something like this:-

1. Feeding  - $300.00
2. Rent (Apartment) - $250.00
3. Utilities - $100.00
4. Soap, detergents etc - $50.00
5. Fuel and lubricants - $100.00
6. School fees /Educational expenses - $200.00
7. Transportation - $120.00
8. Tithe/Offerings - $200.00
9. Pocket money - $300.00
10. Savings - $200.00

Note the figures used here are arbitrary and will depend on what is of priority to the couples concerned. The important thing is that the couple must agree on what they want to do and must have the will to stick to their plan as much as possible.

Initially you may not be able to follow through 100% but with persistence you will master the act and perfect the scheme together. The idea is that you don't spend money on trivialities only to find out later that you need money to do something that is important.

More next time

God bless.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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MONEY MANAGEMENT IN THE HOME 2

Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Amos 3:3

Last time we looked at one principle that helps in the management of money in the home and that is the principle of agreeing the money earned by both partners belong to the family.

Today lets look at the second principle.

Principle 2 - Agreeing that money will never separate you.

This principle if understood in its pristine state is capable of cementing and solidifying the home. Once a couple gets to the point where they can disagree about money but have made a covenant that such a disagreement is to clarify issues rather than to separate them.

I have come to the opinion that though promiscuity is one important reason for many broken homes but the greatest challenge many homes will face are financial issues. The inability of financial plans and programs to be met and the pressure that comes with unrealized dreams and unpaid bills.

I know many couples who have separated because the man lost his job or there was a sudden financial crises. Women are naturally drawn to a life of comfort and deservedly so because the woman was created after the man had been given work to do. The woman was created to help the man manage the proceeds of his labor as it were.

How do you agree that money will not separate you? The first thing to do is to set a conflict resolution strategy for handling financial conflicts. Couples must learn to talk and resolve issues. It is my suggestion that it will be better not to talk about such issues in the heat of the moment but to chose a place where two of you can TALK ALONE. Going out to a place where two of you can relax and talk is a good suggestion in this regard.

The second suggestion which is not my preferred option by the way is to agree that the two of you will consult an independent arbiter such as a financial expert of your Pastor. This option is recommended when consensus cannot be reached by the two of you.

The relevance of agreeing that money will not separate you does not only comply with Jesus' proposition for what can separate two people but it allows the couple to talk about their views and clarify their doubts. This is important because many times we argue about things we imagine rather than what the reality really is.

We must also remember that we each have our own plans and projections and unless we come to the table and agree conflicts will naturally ensue.

More next time

God bless you.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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MONEY MANAGEMENT AND THE HOME

It was my father in the Lord, Dr. James Iruobe that said in his book "Four Things Intending Couples Must Agree On Before Marriage" that money is always the first issue that causes quarrels in many homes. After 24 years of marriage I cannot agree less.

While many believe that it is the absence of money that causes trouble in the home, may I suggest to you that the presence of surplus money can also pose a problem if the couples do not have any idea about financial intelligence.

Money comes to everybody but how one manages what comes in is what makes the difference between financial freedom and slavery.

We have for many centuries been influenced by Greek thinking is the idea that we make money primarily for spending. The "Money to Burn" mentality that still drives many a culture even today. The idea is that as long as money keeps flowing, there can be no end as to what pleasures we can pursue.

Every family must form an ideology about money. How do you and your spouse see money? Do you see money as a servant of as a boss? If it happens that you suddenly lose your source of income (though I pray I may never happen to you) will you spouse still be that loving husband or wife?

The principles my mentor has over his 30 something years in ministry taught are very relevant if we are to find financial freedom as a couple. I will like to outline some of them here not necessarily in any particular order of importance.

PRINCIPLE 1 - Whatever is earned belongs to the family:
This is to me the starting point for ensuring that the family becomes financially free. Every couple ought to sit down and agree that whatever comes in either through the man or the woman belongs to the family. I know that in our culture this may be a contentious issue but the idea here is more of openness and transparency rather than outright ownership. Let me clarify what I am trying to pass across.

If a man or woman earns salary, the money should be declared as family income. This enables the couple to pull resources together and plan both for themselves and their children. When there are secrets there is bound to be misconceptions. For example, if a woman does not know how much her husband earns the tendency is that she may make demands beyond the capacity of her husband to provide.

I have always advocated that it is much less "harmful" for your wife to know your level of income as well as its source than to keep her in the dark about your finances. I know many widows who have no idea about their late husband's estate and all that the man labored for has passed on to third parties.

Telling your wife what you earn also help the family to budget appropriately and avoid living above your means.

More next time

God bless

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WILL YOU ALLOW YOUR WIFE TO WORK IF YOU ARE A VERY WEALTHY MAN?

Last time I posed the question whether if you had about $100 million in your account, you will allow your wife to work and the few responses I got tells me that this is an issue no many give a thought to but I can assure you it is an issue that has lead to many a divorce cases.

In Africa and Asia, the man is viewed and still viewed as the bread winner and in many cases marriage to a wealthy man is something many young ladies desire in order to pull their family out of poverty. A young lady will rather choose an already made man than to start life with a man who has nothing.

I am not for one moment advocating that to marry an already made man is the guarantee to a happy life because I have seen young men who started as nobodies become highly successful, while the so called already made men became poor over time.

Having said that, the crux of the matter stems from statistics that show that many Nigerians married to nurses who they helped to travel from Nigeria to the US ended up killing a good number of the ladies. There was the homicide case of a Nigerian who in cold blood murdered his wife in the bath tub because she had become so successful and independent in the US that she no longer respected her husband or his views.

I do not know the details of what transpired between the couple except that which was published nor am I endorsing the savagery of the man but I am only trying to put things in perspective and that is to say many men prefer their wives to be totally dependent on them for several reasons.

The first reason I see is that it is an ego thing – male chauvinism it is called. The average man sees himself as a conqueror and his wife as his conquest. He therefore tried to do mall within his powers to keep his treasure or price and anything that tends to distort this image is resisted. One such contentious issue is the quest for female equality and liberty. 

When a woman and a wife for that matter begins to pursue things like career or business with the sole aim of becoming independent from her husband, then trouble is sure knocking at the door. However if the wife’s quest for financial emancipation is to augment the family income, even if she becomes more successful than the man, the man does not feel threatened  and his ego is intact.

There are families where the woman tried to outdo the man by operating outside the vision of her husband and once that is in place then such a woman is working against God’s original purpose for the wife which is to be a help mate to her husband.

More next time!

Be blessed.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org 

IF YOU WERE VERY RICH WILL YOU ALLOW YOUR WIFE TO WORK?

Today's discuss arose out of a debate we had in the office a few days ago. The poser was whether if a man has about $100 million as his net worth, he will still allow his wife take up a paid employment.

The answers I got were as varied as the respondents and that set in my mind the tone for what I will attempt to pass across.

The first thing to say is that the average man derives joy from the fact that he is able to take care of his wife and meet her need. In fact many women will never respect a man if he is unable for whatever reason to take care of his wife and family. In sub-Saharan Africa where poverty is endemic many a woman see marriage to a well to do man as the deliverance from poverty. That is why, young girls are always looking for men who have the means to cater for their needs.

Against this backdrop lies the fact that many women will jump at the opportunity of living a life of luxury without lifting one finger.

Unfortunately, this type of life has its drawbacks. Let me use a classic example from the Bible to illustrate what I am saying.

"And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmeelites, which had brought him down thither. And the LORD was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian. And his master saw that the LORD [was] with him, and that the LORD made all that he did to prosper in his hand. And Joseph found grace in his sight, and he served him: and he made him overseer over his house, and all [that] he had he put into his hand. And it came to pass from the time [that] he had made him overseer in his house, and over all that he had, that the LORD blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; and the blessing of the LORD was upon all that he had in the house, and in the field. And he left all that he had in Joseph's hand; and he knew not ought he had, save the bread which he did eat. And Joseph was [a] goodly [person], and well favoured. And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me. But he refused, and said unto his master's wife, Behold, my master wotteth not what [is] with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand;" Genesis 39:1-8(KJV)

I will like to imagine that Mrs Potiphar had all the luxury she wanted. A big house and lots of servants at her beck and call. However, all the luxury that her husband provided her did not compensate for the void that she was feeling within. I can imagine that she was bored to the extent that she wanted to do something wild or outlandish as an emotional cure to her boredom.

The truth be told, everyone both male and female find essence in what they do. For the man he finds his essence in his work while the average woman finds her essence in her ability to manage her family which for many women is a full time job.

The purpose of this write up is to have your response so as to discuss this matter in details.

God bless you.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com

www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org