7 TESTS OF OF LOVE

“For God commended his love towards us in that while we were yet sinners Jesus died for the ungodly”

1.   Is your love for your spouse based on feelings?   Yes    No

2.     Is your love for your spouse based on romance? Yes    No

3.     Does your spouse need to deserve your love for it to continue? Yes    No

4      Is your love for your spouse based on sex or physical intimacy? Yes    No

5      Is your love for your spouse based on the pleasure he or she gives you? Yes    No

6      If your spouse stops loving you today, will you also stop loving him or her? Yes    No

7       In one word describe what comes into your mind when you think of your spouse!

    Based on the six questions, for every yes score 10 and for every no score 5. If your total score is more than 30, then it is very likely that your relationship is based on infatuation and not true love. Any relationship based  on infatuation will encounter many hiccups.

The purpose of this test is primarily to show us where we stand in the scale of assessing if what we have for our spouse is true love from God’s perspective. The good news is that no matter what you score or where you stand you can change and begin to genuinely love your spouse because true love is a function of the will.

God chose to love us in spite of the fact that we do not deserve his love nor have we done anything to earn it. In fact we are totally unqualified to be loved by the omnipotent God. The second truth is that this love of God is both irreversible and unending. 

In the Bible whenever Israel did what was displeasing to God He dealt with them but His love never for one day abated. It is interesting to me that whenever God used another nation to chastise his people, He always ended up judging that nation.

True love is by choice; it is a commitment and it is continuous! Anything outside this cannot be true love; it could be infatuation, lust or romance but not true love.

If couples decide to base their love on the word of God and follow the principles set therein, their love for each other will never dissipate and breaking up will be completely non-existent.

Be blessed.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com 
www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org 

SEX AND MARRIAGE

This is one topic that I have been running away from addressing because it is something that is very private and sometimes embarrassing to discuss publicly.

Unfortunately, this is one subject that is very important to having a healthy marriage and one that cannot be taken for granted.

Concerning the issue of sex generally, there is so much misinformation and because these issues are not dealt with on the family table as it were, every child growing up ultimately finds out about sex from friends and peers. In the end many people come away with a wrong view of sex and its purpose.

I will like to remind you of the saying by Mills Munroe that if the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse becomes inevitable.

So what is the purpose of sex? Why did God put this desire in us? Why are we not hermaphrodites?

A good place to begin finding answers will be in the word of God itself.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed. Genesis 2: 24-25.

"And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord." Genesis 4:1

The first thing to say about sex, is that it was created by God. It was God who created the man and the woman and brought them together. So sex in its pristine form is God's idea.

The second thing to say is that it is God's intention that sex should be between a man (husband) and a woman (his wife).

The third thing I will like to state is that sex is supposed to be between two intimate people (male and female) in a marital set up. The idea that Adam KNEW his wife presupposes that there was intimacy as a prerequisite for sex. Therefore this clearly precludes casual sex or sex without any form of commitment.

More next time.

God bless you.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com 
www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org  

TYPES OF MARRIAGE 4 - SHALLOW MARRIAGE

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing (vain) but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30

 This kind of marriage is not based on the solid foundation of love but on such mundane things like beauty, money, connection, social status and sexual pleasures. The foundation of such a marriage is very temporal because if there is a little hitch it is enough to bring it down.

I have often heard people talk about being compatible with someone but such compatibility is based on  physical attributes. Compatibility being anchored on the things we like, our preferences in terms of music, sports and hobbies but the truth is that such a foundation is likened by Jesus to someone who builds his house upon the sand. (Matthew 7:26-27)

It is a fact of life that people change over time. Habits dissipates and new habits are formed as a result of several factors so to based your marriage on things that are subject to change can only be termed folly. If you married a very beautiful woman because of her beauty - to show off to your peers that you have a "Miss World" for your wife, but unfortunately she is involved in a motor accident and her faced is defaced beyond recognition, what do you do?

I know a lady who married a man when the man was very rich and a globe trotter as it were. She was attracted to him purely because of his money. Years later, the man's money is gone and he is now a dependent man, so she is tied to poverty. She chose the wrong parameter to determine who to marry and now she is living a life of regret. Conversely, there is the story of another lady who desired to marry a successful man but after counseling with her pastor decided to settle for a young man who at that time had nothing. Today the young man is a multi-millionaire and she is ever grateful she listened to her pastor. What the pastor saw in the young man was not beauty or wealth but the strength of character and the fear of God.


If your marriage is based on pleasure, pleasure is fleeting and does not last. After a while, you get tired of doing the same thing over and over again and with time you start looking for newer avenues for pleasure.

What should form the foundation of marriage should be things that are enduring; your faith, character, care and respect for human dignity.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com

www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org

HANDLING JOY KILLERS - INFIDELITY

Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. Proverbs 9:17

Recently, I came across an article on Woman'sday.com titled 12  Surprising Facts About Cheating written by Jenna Birch. While one may not agree entirely with all the findings there are two issues which for me are worth considering. I reproduce here the two findings.

"According to a Rutgers University study, 56% of men who have affairs claim to be happy in their marriages. They're largely satisfied with all they have and aren't looking for a way out, yet they still find themselves in bed with other women—and in hot water with their wives."

"An Indiana University study shows that men and women cheat at the same rate. But the reasons the sexes cheat are different. He explains women are more likely to cheat for emotional satisfaction. Online cheating—without any physical contact—is the most damaging type of infidelity. Becoming emotionally invested in another person means you've likely checked out of your marriage. But if it's just sex, it's less about attachment and more about a hurtful mistake."

What this should tell us is that infidelity is not necessarily about the absence of love but a human propensity to use sex as a way of dealing with issues whether emotional or physical. Many other studies show that there is a strong correlation between sex and power and men of power tend to be drawn towards sexual escapades.

Having said that, I must say that I am not defending infidelity or suggesting that infidelity can be excused for whatever reason. God frowns on immorality especially fornication and adultery which can be defined as having sex with someone who is not your spouse.

But truth be told, infidelity is a common reason for the breakdown of joy in the home. It is an act that connotes betrayal of trust and breaking of the marital vows you made on your wedding day. The fact that one finds sexual satisfaction with someone else creates the impression that one's spouse is inadequate and a failure. Infidelity is an act of moral failure.

From the medical point of view, casual sex and multiply partners have been shown by numerous surveys to be responsible for the spread of many STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). The prevalence of HIV/AIDS is closely related to sexual promiscuity and this has have crippling economic effect on many countries of the world.

When you cheat on your spouse, the message you send is that he or she no longer meets your needs and that you now find fulfillment outside your home. Infidelity hurts the other person more than a physical hurt could and leaves scars that may be hard to mend.

if you no longer find your sexual relationship with your spouse fulfilling, seat down and talk about it; do not sweep it under the carpet. You may seek counseling from your Pastor or experts in this area so that your sexual affinity can be restored.

Remember sex is vital to the continuous bliss a marriage will enjoy.

Be blessed.

femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com

www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org


UPCOMING EVENT #EasterLeadershipConference
 
Our Annual Easter Leadership Conference 2nd to 5th April, 2015
Venue: Elshaddai Covenant Church
            7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule Egba, Lagos, Nigeria
Time: 8:30am morning session; 5pm evening session.