THE HOME SERIES 4 - THE DUTIES OF THE MAN

“Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" ² The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; ³ but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.' " ⁴ The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! ⁵ "For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." ⁶ When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.
⁸ They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" ¹⁰ He said, "I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself." ¹¹ And He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?" ¹² The man said, "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.” Gen 3:1-12 (NASB)

One viable lesson we can learn from the encounter of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden is that from God’s perspective one of the duties of the man is to be the spokesperson (PROCLAIMER) of the family. When God visited Adam and Eve after the devil had deceived them, God did not talk to the woman who was as it were the prime culprit but the man.

This has far reaching implications for the home because it is usual these days to find many men keeping mute when they ought to speak out for the family. In the US for example, I have seen it over and over again when a family has just experienced a tragedy and they are been interviewed by the media to find the man quiet while the wife does all the talking. This is an aberration of God’s original plan.

The man should and must always speak out for the family. This is important for several reasons:-

1.     It shows that God’s order is been followed in the family

2.     It portrays the family as one with the man in charge. Children want to grow up and know that their father was in charge in the affairs of the home.

3.     It reduces the tendency of emotional outbursts that is common to women.

In the time of Moses, if a woman makes a vow and the husband objects to such a vow, it becomes null and void. The man was expected to confirm or veto every major decision made by the woman.

"However, if she should marry while under her vows or the rash statement of her lips by which she has bound herself, ⁷ and her husband hears of it and says nothing to her on the day he hears it, then her vows shall stand and her obligations by which she has bound herself shall stand. ⁸ "But if on the day her husband hears of it, he forbids her, then he shall annul her vow which she is under and the rash statement of her lips by which she has bound herself; and the LORD will forgive her.
⁹ "But the vow of a widow or of a divorced woman, everything by which she has bound herself, shall stand against her. ¹⁰ "However, if she vowed in her husband's house, or bound herself by an obligation with an oath, ¹¹ and her husband heard it, but said nothing to her and did not forbid her, then all her vows shall stand and every obligation by which she bound herself shall stand. ¹² "But if her husband indeed annuls them on the day he hears them, then whatever proceeds out of her lips concerning her vows or concerning the obligation of herself shall not stand; her husband has annulled them, and the LORD will forgive her.
¹³ "Every vow and every binding oath to humble herself, her husband may confirm it or her husband may annul it. ¹⁴ "But if her husband indeed says nothing to her from day to day, then he confirms all her vows or all her obligations which are on her; he has confirmed them, because he said nothing to her on the day he heard them. ¹⁵ "But if he indeed annuls them after he has heard them, then he shall bear her guilt." Num 30:6-15 (NASB)

While I am not in any way advocating male dominance or chauvinism, the point being made is that the man must exercise his role as both protector and proclaimer of his home. 

Truth be told, the man is ultimately responsible for what goes on in the home and should be able to speak on behalf of his family.

This is God's order.  


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THE HOME SERIES 2 – THE DUTIES OF THE MAN

THE MAN IS THE PROTECTOR.

“Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" ² The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; ³ but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.' " ⁴ The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! ⁵ "For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." ⁶ When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.
⁸ They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" ¹⁰ He said, "I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself." ¹¹ And He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?" ¹² The man said, "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.” Gen 3:1-12 (NASB)

Aside being the provider the second most important duty of a man from my personal point of view is that of a PROTECTOR.

The story of how man fell in the Garden of Eden is essentially the story of what happens when a man shirks his responsibility. When Satan the tempter came to Eve, Adam did nothing to defend and protect her. He kept quiet and allowed the deceiver to have his way. It may well be that he was too busy attending to his “work” or that he assumed that the woman was capable of handling the matter.

I have come to observe that the average woman is looking for a man who will make her feel not only loved but protected. Most women find security in the fact that their husbands are there for them and they can rely on him. 

As a man you need to know that no matter how tough a woman appears to be they are more easily prone to being swayed emotional than the man. The Tempter carefully chose Eve because he realized that Eve was lively to be the one who would be sentimental and trusting. The tragedy is not the fact that Eve fell for the antics of the Devil but that Adam was unable to protect and defend his wife from making a colossal mistake.
In the African setting especially, it is common to find men leave their wives at the mercy of relatives and friends especially when such men are close to their mothers. I remember when I was about to get married and my wife (who was my fiancée at that time) was being summoned to a family meeting by my family without my knowledge because she disciplined my little cousin who was living with me, I made it very clear from the onset that nobody has the right to summon my wife without my permission. I felt at that time and do still feel that it was my responsibility to protect my wife from any external threat no matter the source.

This brings to my mind the classic example of what Jacob did when faced with the presumed threat of meeting his brother Esua who he had betrayed and stolen the blessing from. 

 The messengers returned to Jacob, saying, "We came to your brother Esau, and furthermore he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him." ⁷ Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed; and he divided the people who were with him, and the flocks and the herds and the camels, into two companies; ⁸ for he said, "If Esau comes to the one company and attacks it, then the company which is left will escape."  Gen 32:6-8 (NASB)

“Then Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. ² He put the maids and their children in front, and Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. ³ But he himself passed on ahead of them and bowed down to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. Gen 33:1-3 (NASB)

Jacob had heard that Esua was coming to meet him with 400 men. This created fear in him and he decided to divide his family into three groups saying in case Esua attacks one group the others will flee. What was significant was that he put himself in front of the perceived threat. At least if he was killed by his brother, then his wives and children will find a way to escape.

This is the example for all men to follow. You cannot claim to love your wife and do nothing to ensure that she is protected from threats both internal and external. There are men who treat their wives like second class citizens in their homes preferring their siblings over and above their spouses, which is not God’s order of things.

Your wife deserves your protection from any form of threat or aggression. It is the duty of the man to make the woman feel safe and secured in her home. It is the duty of a man as much as humanly possible to protect his wife from financial, emotional, psychological and physical threats.

Anything short of this negates God’s word and can only lead to problems in the home.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, “Eph 5:25 (NASB)

Any man who cannot defend his wife with his life is not what being called a man.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com

www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org