“He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth
him chasteneth him betimes” Proverbs 13:24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of
a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15
When growing up in the 60s and 70s, discipline was at its
optimum; in fact if you were disciplined in school and your parents got to
know, you will be punished at home for bringing shame to the family.
Unfortunately, starting from the 80 and 90 occasioned by watering down of
societal values, the issue of discipline of children has taken the back stage.
There was the classic example of my personal experience as a
teacher in Benin. In 1988, I was teaching Integrated Science in Adolo College,
Benin City, Nigeria and was the class teacher of one of the JSS 2 classes.
There was this particular boy who was disciplined in school for a particular
offense and the boy went home and lied to his mother. The woman without asking
questions came to the school threatening brimstone and fire and created such an
embarrassing scene that when she later discovered that the son had lied to her,
she left the school in shame. She was annoyed that a teacher had the audacity
to cane her son in school only to discover that the boy deserved to have been
punished for what he did.
Growing up our parents never spared the rod and it baffles
me that our generation has resulted to pampering our own children. The issue of
corporal punishment though contentious must be understood in context of the
fact that a child who is never punished for an offense ends up becoming
uncontrollable and decadent.
As a Christian father and teacher, I advocate that the rod
must be present in every home as a symbol of discipline. The frequency of use
of the rod however is another matter entirely but its absence is what I
completely kick against. Every home must have a cane (rod) of correction.
Another anomaly I see is that discipline is left in the
hands of one of the parents. I have heard some mothers tell their husbands not
to beat their children creating the impression in the minds of the children
that the man is a monster who is only being wicked in the exercise of his duty
as the father of the home.
For every home that will bring up children that will not end
up bringing disgrace to the family, discipline must be a joint responsible.
Even if you do not agree with the method being employed by your spouse never
oppose him or her in the presence of the children or else you will end up
causing division in the home. The best thing to do is to look away at that
moment and then privately rebuke or correct your spouse. The children must see
the two of you in agreement over everything including their discipline.
The man has the primary responsibility to discipline his
children and I advise mother to always allow the man play that role. If your
children misbehave in the absence of their father, it is good advice to say to
them things like “When your father comes, he will discipline you” and the man
must live up to this responsibility when he comes.
Remember you are responsible for how your children will turn out whether for good or bad!
God bless you
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