TYPES OF MARRIAGE 5 - BROKEN MARRIAGE

"How can two walk together except they agree" Amos 3:3

There is the story of a couple who live together in the same house but that is just about all the intimacy they have. They sleep in separate rooms, cook separate meals and go their separate ways. In the eyes of the world they are married but in essence their marriage has broken down. The woman confessed that she had not experienced intimacy with her husband for the past 2 years.

Now what led to this situation?

There are several factors that may have contributed to this undesirable situation but one thing is sure the was total breakdown in their communication. They no longer were able to talk about their issues and "disagree to agree".

In many of such instances it starts with a little crack in the wall of their relationship and if the crack is not attended to the crack begins to deepen and finally becomes a chasm that cannot be bridged. Many couple believe that time heals ever wound but that statement does not apply in all instances.

What you sweep under the carpet will grow up to become a hydra headed monster that will threaten your home.

It is God's desire that couples talk about every issue and resolve them amicable. You spouse should be able to know how you feel about each and everything that affect both of you. Honesty and openness should be the watch word for every relationship to thrive.

"And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed." Genesis 2:25

The word translated naked here connotes the concept of being open, approachable, vulnerable one to another. It suggest that man should not be ashamed to confide his deepest and most secret heart desires to his wife and vice versa.

When this is not in place, you find that they slowly without being conscious of it begin to drift apart. The man begins to find that he confides more in colleagues in the office and friends and the wife begins to confide more in family and neighbours.

The solution is to deal with the barrier to effective communication. You need to realize that unless you can find grounds of mutual agreement with your spouse that marriage may never be what God has ordained it to be.

Let every crack be mended and every broken door be replaced!

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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PROBLEMS OF MARRIAGE 4

Money

In this section, I will be addressing the importance of agreeing on money. If you have never talked about money before you got married, I assure you that you will after the wedding ceremony. So if you do not have an agreement about money before you got married, then you will have lots of debates and arguments afterwards. This section aims at pin pointing monetary issues couples need to talk about. When you discuss these issues, they will not only help you but will certainly guarantee a better home for you.

         Your marriage is more important than your wedding. You may impress the whole world with your wedding, in fact, everybody may come and “envy” you on your wedding day but it will be only you and your wife left after the wedding. Therefore, between your wedding and your marriage, which is more important?

The wedding is just for one day while marriage could last for 60 years or even a lifetime. Shouldn’t you then, be more concerned about your marriage than your wedding? The issues raised in this book will make you think ahead. Note that if you do not plan for yourself; situation will make plans for you.

             Having said that, you do not have to be enslaved by your agreements because, you might have agreed on some things before marriage only for you to discover that during the course of marriage they need to be revisited. In this case, all you need to do is to review them together. This is the essence of togetherness in marriage. You can certainly review them again and again and take fresh decisions as the need arises. Agreement does not suggest insistence on what one wants nor does it mean disagreeing on anything you do not want, even when you have a good reason to do so. It is always good to have a discussion, debate and bring out your strong points. As long as both of you are working together towards the achievement of one goal, that is,  raising a good family and neither of you has a selfish interest or motive, you will do well. 

In effect, your overall effort must be geared towards seeing both of you making progress in life.

 Femi Imevbore
+2348080929292
femiimevbore@gmail.com
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