FINDING A LIFE PARTNER!

 Greetings friends, and I apologize for my long absence.

I will like to begin a series on choosing a life partner, focusing on some of the common misconceptions people have about issues such as love at first sight, beauty, dating and a whole lot of ideas that are inconsistent with the Bible.

"And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age; and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had. Put I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of Heaven and the God of the earth, that thou shall not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell." Genesis 24: 1-4

"Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the Lord: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good. Behold Rebekah is before thee, take her and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife as the Lord hath spoken.” Genesis 24: 50-51.

"And they called Rebekah and said unto her, wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go. Genesis 24: 58.”

I am reminded of a story I heard from one Preacher from India about how his elder brother married a girl he had never met. The wedding was already fixed and the invitation letters sent before they saw themselves for the first time. Today that wedding has lasted more than three decades.

Let me start by debunking some popular myths about finding a life partner.

1. Courtship is indispensable to marriage:- 

Courtship is generally referred to as the period of getting to know one another and trying to determine if the two of you are compatible. The problem with this idea is that first of all it is un-scriptural. There is nowhere in the Bible that talks about courtship. The nearest idea to this is the case of Mary who the Bible says was espoused to Joseph. The word espoused connotes a bethrotal or an engagement if you like, a union that has been virtually concluded. This is so because Joseph, on learning of what had transpired, tried to "put her away" privately. In fact espousal among the Hebrews was a legal part of the marriage and could not be broken except by divorce.

The idea of courtship is modern and an attempt to fuse worldly culture with Biblical principles. From the above passage, Isaac never went through courtship in marrying Rebekah, yet the Bible records that as soon as he married her he was comforted. Genesis 24:67.

When Jacob met Rachel he knew he had found a wife, so he served Laban for seven years for Rachel. (Genesis 29:18). It was not a situation of “let us see if this will work out”, it was for real.

When a man makes up his mind to marry, what he needs is the leading of God. If God leads you to a woman of his choice you need not worry!

To be continued! Be blessed!

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com 
www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org 

UNDERSTANDING THE MARRIAGE COVENANT - NO MORE WINE

On Saturday I attended a wedding and the speaker at the wedding preached on John 2: 1- 11, the Wedding in Cana of Galilee where Jesus performed his first recorded miracle of turning water into wine. While she was speaking, the Holy spirit opened my eyes to what I want to share with you today.

"On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; 2 and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said* to Him, "They have no wine." 4 And Jesus said* to her, "Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come." 5 His mother said* to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it." 6 Now there were six stone waterpots set there for the Jewish custom of purification, containing twenty or thirty gallons each. 7 Jesus said* to them, "Fill the waterpots with water." So they filled them up to the brim. 8 And He said* to them, "Draw some out now and take it to the headwaiter." So they took it to him. 9 When the headwaiter tasted the water which had become wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the headwaiter called* the bridegroom, 10 and said* to him, "Every man serves the good wine first, and when the people have drunk freely, then he serves the poorer wine; but you have kept the good wine until now." 11 This beginning of His signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory, and His disciples believed in Him.John 2:1-11 (NASB)



The first thing that caught my attention for the first time, though I have read and preached on this passage of scripture before is that the couple ran out of wine (wine represent joy and celebration) at the very beginning of their marriage - on the wedding day. How pathetic!

Many people enjoy the bliss and joy of marriage for longer periods some for some months and years but ultimately like every marriage there is the propensity of joy running out. Statistics show that there are 3 major thresholds when people in a marriage relationship either separate or divorce; within the first 5 years, after 15 years (when the pressure of financing the children's education is likely at its highest) and after 25 years.

The second thing that caught my attention is that the couple started out with wine but ended up with water! Water is common, colorless and ordinary. This describes many marriages today. They have lost that color, that sparkle that made their union joyous.

But something happened. Jesus stepped into their matter and a miracle ensued. What was common was turned into something uncommon; what was colorless was turned into something colorful and what was ordinary was turned into something extraordinary. The miracle at Cana in Galilee symbolizes what Jesus can do for everyone who will entrust their marriage to him.

His mother's advice is still relevant today - whatever he asks you to do do it! Jesus at the center of your marriage will turn things around and make your home the cynosure of all eyes. He will turn that impending disaster into an encounter and that seeming mistake into a miracle.

All you need to do is trust him with you life first and then your marriage.

It works all the time!

Femi Imevbore

femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com

www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org

UPCOMING EVENT
 
Our Annual Easter Leadership Conference 2nd to 5th April, 2015
Venue: Elshaddai Covenant Church
            7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule Egba, Lagos, Nigeria
Time: 8:30am morning session; 5pm evening session. 

UNDERSTANDING THE MARRIAGE COVENANT 3 - WHAT JESUS SAID

“And some of the Pharisees came up, and in order to test Him and try to find a weakness in Him asked, Is it lawful for a man to dismiss and repudiate and divorce his wife. He answered them, What did Moses command you? They replied, Moses allowed a man to write a bill of divorce and put her away. But Jesus said to them, Because of the hardness of heart (your condition of insensibility to the call of  God) he wrote you this precept in your law. But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave (behind) his father and his mother and be joined to his wife and cleave closely to her permanently. And the two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has united (joined together) let not man separate or divide. And indoors the disciples questioned Him again about this subject. And he said to them, Whoever dismisses (repudiates and divorces) his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman dismisses (repudiates and divorces) her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." Mark 10:2- 12. (Amplified)

If you are a Christian or even a non Christian, I am sure you would want to take the words of Jesus seriously concerning the issue of marriage and divorce. This is so much more important because we live in an age where there is so much confusion about what life really means.

Nowadays it is common to hear an unborn child called the “product of conception” as if unborn babies are “commodities” to have and discard as one pleases. The confusion that abounds in the definition of what marriage is has reached alarming proportions with governments of western nations putting pressure on some other nations to implement gay rights with the attendant result that "same sex marriage” is been approved by law. How depraved the world is slowly becoming that very soon it may become approved by law for humans to marry animals.

Let for a moment reflect on one of the reasons why God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 19. Earlier in Genesis 18:20 God told Abraham that the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was “great” and “grievous”. Notice the two adjectives used to describe the gross sexual perversion that had come to epitomize these wicked cities. If God did not spare Sodom and Gomorrah who say we will get away with the total neglect and brazen audacity with which mankind is perverting the way of God?

Be that as it may, let us examine closely what Jesus had to say about the issue at hand. There are at least 5 issues that Jesus tackled when the Pharisees brought up this matter.

First is that marriage is between male and female. No matter how we try to justify our preferences, God ordained marriage to be between a man and a woman. This totally excludes same sex marriage! These are not my words but what Jesus said.

Secondly, marriage involves "a leaving” and a “cleaving”. The man leaves behind his father and mother, connoting the fact that he must reorder his priority in terms of his relationships and place his marriage above any other relationship he can be involved in. This is a challenge for men who put their families, careers or even their children before their spouses. Doing this negates God’s order says Jesus.

Thirdly, both the man and woman become one flesh – inseparable, indivisible. Divorce or separation or having a living in “partner” is outside God’s tenets. 

Fourthly, Jesus said unequivocally that divorce and separation is the outworking of the “hardiness of the heart”. In order words, to be divorced or separated from your marriage partner while still living is an exception to the rule. Unfortunately, man in the hardiness of his heart is trying to supplant God's order and uproot the very foundation upon which God says societies should be built.

Finally, Jesus addresses the issue of remarriage and shows that to marry a divorcee while the person’s partner is still alive amounts to adultery. 

What is important for us to take special note of is that once we enter the marriage union we are expected to be committed for life. The Priest will always say “for better for worse, for richer for poorer”. No more no less!

More on this next time!

Femi Imevbore
+2348080929292
femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com

www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org

 Click HERE to listen to this wonderful message By Dr. James Iruobe

UNDERSTANDING THE MARRIAGE COVENANT

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” Genesis 2:24 (NIV)

“And some of the Pharisees came up, and in order to test Him and try to find a weakness in Him asked, Is it lawful for a man to dismiss and repudiate and divorce his wife. He answered them, What did Moses command you? They replied, Moses allowed a man to write a bill of divorce and put her away. But Jesus said to them, Because of the hardness of heart (your condition of insensibility to the call of  God) he wrote you this precept in your law. But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave (behind) his father and his mother and be joined to his wife and cleave closely to her permanently. And the two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has united (joined together) let not man separate or divide. And indoors the disciples questioned Him again about this subject. And he said to them, Whoever dismisses (repudiates and divorces) his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman dismisses (repudiates and divorces) her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." Mark 10:2- 12. (Amplified)

It was the late Dr. Miles Monroe who said “When purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable;" this to my mind is really the greatest problem of marriages. In this age of pluralism, things that were hitherto defined in a particular way have now been redefined to mean things that sometimes completely contradicts the original meaning.

The first thing to say about marriage is that many have come to see marriage as a CONTRACT rather than a COVENANT. It is important to make this distinction because this is the very foundation upon which the marriage union is built.
Can I say it loud and clear “Marriage is a COVENANT not a CONTRACT”.

What is a contract?
In very simple layman’s terms, a contract is an agreement between two or more parties stating in clear terms the obligations and responsibilities each parties will discharge in maintaining the agreement. If one party breaches the terms of the agreement, the other party is automatically absolved from any further obligations and responsibilities towards the agreement and such a party is free to exist that relationship. Furthermore in an agreement there is usually a tenure, a specific time frame under which the agreement is in effect after which the parties may or may not continue the relationship.

What is a covenant?
In contrast, a covenant is an agreement between one party (the stronger of the two parties)who proposes the terms of the agreement to another party (the weaker of the two) who accepts of rejects the offer. In the case of a covenant, the one who proposes the terms of the agreement cannot repudiate his obligations or responsibilities irrespective of what the other party does once the offer is accepted. In other words once a covenant is signed and sealed, there is no exit clause. It becomes an agreement for life.

Applying this to marriages, it is usually the man who is the stronger of the two that proposes to a woman and the woman is at liberty to either accept or reject the proposal. However, from God’s perspective once the proposal is made and accepted it becomes a covenant which can never be annulled or repudiated. The introduction of prenuptial contracts, divorce and multiple marriages or what David Pawson calls "Consecutive Polygamy" totally negates God's original design for marriage.

That is why before any man contemplates marriage it is advisable that he must have given serious thought to what he intends to go into because the purpose of marriage is a union for life.
To be continued!

Click here to listen to Understanding the Marriage Covenant by Dr. James Iruobe