Such a statement though may tend to be over simplified but it portrays a truth to wit that people in our lives influence us either positively or negatively. Many people tried their first shot of hard drugs through the influence of someone close to them. Many teenagers try sex for the first time as a result of peer pressure and many other things as well.
The story that immediately comes to my mind is taken from 1 Samuel 13: 1-33. Amnon was the first son of David who fell in love with his half sister, Tamar the sister of Absalom. Amnon did not know what to do about this his longing (at least at that time it would have been permitted that he married his half sister) so he confided in his friend Jonadab, who was actually a cousin of his. The Bible says about Jonadab:
"But Amnon has a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtle (crafty) man. 1 Samuel 13:3
It was Jonadab who helped Amnon hatch the plot to corner Tamar and eventually Amnon raped his sister and after defiling her drove her away from his presence. Two years down the line, because David was not going to do any thing about this injustice, Absalom plotted and killed Amnon. Guess who was on hand to "comfort" David the king - Jonadab of course.
What I want you to see here is that Jonadab's influence upon Amnon ushered in untold trouble in the house of David. It was from one disaster to another. You may say that David was getting what he rightly deserved for killing Uriah the Hittite and marrying his wife Bathsheba, but the point is that it all come to manifestation as a result of the influence Jonadab had on Amnon. Tamar was raped and defiled; Amnon himself was murdered; Absalom fled to exile and began to plot the overthrow of his father who he now disdained.
Reading the story I have often wondered what could have happened if Jonadab's influence was a positive one and had told Amnon to shelve such an ungodly desire.
Applying this story to marriages, there are some people whose influence you do not need in your home. There are many people who envy the peace and tranquility in your home and wish they were in your shoes. There are also some other who believe that every other person should suffer if they are suffering and they they derive satisfaction when your home is in trouble.
One way to identify joy killers is when they advise you to pick a fight with your spouse. Have you ever heard someone tell you something like "I do not take this type of thing from my spouse"? Or something like "my wife (or husband) cannot try this with me? Another sure sign of a potential joy killer is someone that makes you to compare your spouse with someone else or compares your marriage with another person's marriage.
Anyone no matter how close he or she is that tends to escalate trouble between you and your spouse is a joy killer.
My one advice - stay away from such people because that is the only way to avoid their evil influence.
God bless you
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UPCOMING EVENT #EasterLeadershipConference
Our Annual Easter Leadership Conference 2nd to 5th April, 2015
Venue: Elshaddai Covenant Church
7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule Egba, Lagos, Nigeria
Time: 8:30am morning session; 5pm evening session.
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