Last time we examined the fact that joy can dissipate from a marriage. This process of dissipation occurs over time and depending on the couple involved and the circumstances they find themselves, for some joy disappears within days while for other it takes longer.
The issue is that if one does not take appropriate steps, the joy and excitement one feels when you marry your spouse could easily vanish. The myth of “the lived happily ever after” is really what it is – a myth.
Everyone who has succeeded in making their marriage work will tell you that marriage is hard work; it is not also for the immature or faint hearted. It is for those who are willing and have resolved to make their marriage and home succeed.
There are certain things that work against joy which I term joy killers that require a concerted effort to overcome if your marriage must work.
The first of joy killers in the home is pride. Now when we understand that everyone has a measure of self worth, then we must realize that one is not talking about self worth but arrogance and the propensity to be egocentric. The ego is one “beast” that clamors for our attention and is sensitive to what other do or do not do to us. It is the ego that demands that people respect us and place us on a pedestal in life that we ourselves have not earned nor deserve.
The kind of pride I am referring to is the one that says things like “who are you to talk to me like that?”; or “am I the one you are the one you are insulting?”. I have come to realize that it is only my wife that has the audacity to talk to me in ways that no other person, not even my mother or father can. I am not advocating for once that my spouse should take the liberty to talk down on me or insult me but in case she steps out of line and does, I must understand that it is because she is my wife that she can do that.
Ordinarily, if someone talks rudely to me the natural tendency is to defend myself from abuse and hurt but as a Christian I am learning to become immune to verbal abuse.
Anyone who is able to master his emotions and keep his pride in check is one who is destined to succeed in every endeavor including marriage.
I once read a statement that says “Meekness is not weakness but strength under control”.
One thing that will threaten the joy of your marriage is pride. If you succeed in controlling pride I see joy enveloping your home.
More next time.
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UPCOMING EVENT
Our Annual Easter Leadership Conference 2nd to 5th April, 2015
Venue: Elshaddai Covenant Church
7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule Egba, Lagos, Nigeria
Time: 8:30am morning session; 5pm evening session.
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