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Showing posts with label infidelity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infidelity. Show all posts

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

KEEPING SECRETS

Last time I tried to establish the argument for transparency and honesty and I believe I may have stirred the honest nest in the minds of traditionalists who believe their wives do not need to know everything. After all what you do not know will not hurt you they claim.

Let us for a moment argue some of the demerits of being open to your wife. There is the story of a man who had an affair with a colleague in the office and as a good Christian ought to do confessed to his wife and sought forgiveness. What happened was that he had worked rather late that day and found that he was alone in this big office with an unmarried female staff who also had to work late. They got talking and one thing led to another and before you could stay Jack Robinson, they found themselves on the floor of the office. The man was so guilty of what he inadvertently did that he immediately confided in his wife.
Unfortunately for him the wife was so distraught by his act of infidelity and for many months could not bring herself to forgive him. At the end of it the man regretted confiding in his wife.

Now you may be tempted on the surface to say the man should have kept his mouth shut and secretly repented but we forget that there is always a third party to every act of infidelity - the other woman or man.

What you may call a mistake may be something completely different for the other person. I have know people who took a mere hug to mean something very romantic and interpreted one's honest gesture quite differently. Now if you happen to make quite an impression on the other person, you may be in for a battle in your hands.

Many times we can never envisage the outcomes of our misdeeds. I am sure if King David had known that his adulterous act with Bathsheba will bring so much untold problems for him, he would have decided that it was not worth all the trouble he went through. For those of us who may not be so conversant with all that transpired later in the life of David, it was this act of indiscretion on his part that led to his son Absalom revolting against him and sleeping with his father's concubines in public. He did his own in private, but he was to reap the shame in public.

While I am not looking at Infidelity just now, the point I am trying to make is that every act has consequences so of them completely beyond our control and therefore unless we have our spouses on the same page with us it may be difficult to face the consequences of our actions.

It was the support of Hilary Clinton that helped her Husband former President Bill Clinton, wade through the Lewinsky episode aside from the fact that he had a sugar coated tongue.

The price you pay for honesty is far less costly in the long run to the price you will have to pay when the truth finally surfaces since nothing can be hidden for ever.

More on this next time. Stay blessed.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com


www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org

Friday, 13 March 2015

HANDLING JOY KILLERS - INFIDELITY

Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. Proverbs 9:17

Recently, I came across an article on Woman'sday.com titled 12  Surprising Facts About Cheating written by Jenna Birch. While one may not agree entirely with all the findings there are two issues which for me are worth considering. I reproduce here the two findings.

"According to a Rutgers University study, 56% of men who have affairs claim to be happy in their marriages. They're largely satisfied with all they have and aren't looking for a way out, yet they still find themselves in bed with other women—and in hot water with their wives."

"An Indiana University study shows that men and women cheat at the same rate. But the reasons the sexes cheat are different. He explains women are more likely to cheat for emotional satisfaction. Online cheating—without any physical contact—is the most damaging type of infidelity. Becoming emotionally invested in another person means you've likely checked out of your marriage. But if it's just sex, it's less about attachment and more about a hurtful mistake."

What this should tell us is that infidelity is not necessarily about the absence of love but a human propensity to use sex as a way of dealing with issues whether emotional or physical. Many other studies show that there is a strong correlation between sex and power and men of power tend to be drawn towards sexual escapades.

Having said that, I must say that I am not defending infidelity or suggesting that infidelity can be excused for whatever reason. God frowns on immorality especially fornication and adultery which can be defined as having sex with someone who is not your spouse.

But truth be told, infidelity is a common reason for the breakdown of joy in the home. It is an act that connotes betrayal of trust and breaking of the marital vows you made on your wedding day. The fact that one finds sexual satisfaction with someone else creates the impression that one's spouse is inadequate and a failure. Infidelity is an act of moral failure.

From the medical point of view, casual sex and multiply partners have been shown by numerous surveys to be responsible for the spread of many STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). The prevalence of HIV/AIDS is closely related to sexual promiscuity and this has have crippling economic effect on many countries of the world.

When you cheat on your spouse, the message you send is that he or she no longer meets your needs and that you now find fulfillment outside your home. Infidelity hurts the other person more than a physical hurt could and leaves scars that may be hard to mend.

if you no longer find your sexual relationship with your spouse fulfilling, seat down and talk about it; do not sweep it under the carpet. You may seek counseling from your Pastor or experts in this area so that your sexual affinity can be restored.

Remember sex is vital to the continuous bliss a marriage will enjoy.

Be blessed.

femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com




www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org


UPCOMING EVENT #EasterLeadershipConference
 
Our Annual Easter Leadership Conference 2nd to 5th April, 2015
Venue: Elshaddai Covenant Church
            7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule Egba, Lagos, Nigeria
Time: 8:30am morning session; 5pm evening session.