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Thursday 23 June 2016

HANDLING CONFLICTS IN THE HOME

 
"Can Two work together except they are in agreement?" Amos 3:3.

Without doubt there will always be conflicts in the home. There are fundamental issues that potentially can cause conflicts and they include but are not limited to money issue, in-laws, children, sex, career issues, dishonesty and mistrust among many other issues. It is not the presence of issues that matter but the way issues are handled whenever they arise.

The key to handling conflict in the home is agreement. This has been well covered in the book "4 Things Intending Couples Must Agree On Before Marriage" by Dr. James Iruobe. In this book the author noted that if only couples could seat down and talk and agree upon certain things that will guide their marriage even before the start the marital journey then conflicts would be reduced to the barest minimum.

It is important to note that even when you have been married a long time except you agree on important issues you stand the risk of quarreling all the time. Therefore couples must learn the act of conflict resolution. In my own home our children have heard us argue many times but my wife and I always find a way to reconcile and forge ahead.

To reduce conflict agree before hand that you will always seat down and talk about your differences. Agree that no third party will be involved in settling your matters as much as possible. Agree that in-laws will not be involved and that you will not report your spouse to your parents. If any third party is to be involved in settling any disputes let it be only when the two of you have tried unsuccessfully to resolve the issue and then you may involve your Pastor or a marriage counselor. Always try not to involve family members who are likely to take sides one way or the other.

Another important thing to note is that it does not pay to sweep issues under the carpet. let your spouse know just how you feel about issues. Many times people who refuse to confront issues when they happens bottle up so much animosity that when they eventually explode, the damage is usually irreparable.

Remember, if you always try to be right and stick to your position even when you are convinced that you are correct, the health and longevity of your marriage depends on your ability to shift grounds and concede victory to the other party. After if your wife wins a argument over you, it is still your victory.

Be blessed.

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