The topic today is inspired by a marriage talk that took place when we had our couples dinner anchored by the men's fellowship of Elshaddai Covenant Church, 7, Social Club Road, Abule Egba, Lagos. In his address to us Dr. Tunji Bamgbose of the Baptist Church, Festac, Lagos made me realize that one of thee greatest obstacle to building a strong home is the problem of the right kind of communication.
While there are many definitions of communication, but the one I choose to stick with is "saying the right word at the right time". The Bible says "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger" Proverbs 15:1.
Many times what causes trouble is not so much the issues on ground but how the issues are communicated or tackled by what we say, do or refrain from doing.
There is no home or relationship where there will not be arguments or misunderstanding but what strengthens relationships is the ability to resolve conflicts and misunderstanding in a mature and godly manner.
When you have an argument what is your goal? Do you want to win the argument at all cost because you feel that losing the argument will diminish your ego or status?
Winning an argument may give you what appears to be a temporal victory but ultimately you may have lost the battle of winning a friend or spouse.
Your objective should not be to win an argument but to present your strong reasons. If your spouse chooses not to accept your views or position, you have lost nothing because if you are right ultimately time will vindicate you.
Like I learned at that seminar, politeness is a sign of maturity. Winning an argument over your spouse is a lose -lose situation.
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