SECRETS IN MARRIAGE

In our last discuss, we looked at a scenario where a man who strayed into fornication confessed to his wife and but for the grace of God found it had to receive forgiveness from his wife. He felt that if he had kept the truth to himself, he would have saved himself the trauma he went through.

I am sure many men feel the same way but I tried to establish the fact that nothing done under the sun ever remains a secret forever. the truth will eventually come out and bang - the consequences are often graver that when confession is made ab-initio.

So as not to sound gender biased, let us look at the converse situation. When a woman has a secret in her life, will it be expedient for her to confess or to keep quiet hoping the truth will not be found?

I have come to discover that women also have secrets and most times the secrets of women are better kept than men. If a woman is having an affair for example, she can be very discreet about it. It is usually the man that exposes the secret because men tend to want to show off their sexual prowess. Another secret that women tend to keep from their husbands is if they have had any children before they met their husbands especially if such children were delivered when they were in Secondary School. Because such children tend to bear their father's names it becomes easier for their true identity to be revealed.

The bottom line is that trust and fidelity should be the building blocks of every strong marriage. One should be able to trust one's spouse to be honest and open to me. It is always painful to discover something about your spouse that you ought to have known from the very beginning later in life. It tends to show that your spouse does not trust you enough to share his secrets with you.

While I concede the fact that sometimes been honest with your spouse can have a negative effect but the beauty is that you cannot be held liable for dishonesty. Your spouse can be angry that you did something you ought not to do but cannot say that you lied or kept you action a secret.

To be honest and straightforward is the best position one should always take no matter what. If you spouse fails to forgive you for been honest just remember that if you confess you misdeeds to God, he will forgive you and then you try to forgive yourself and move on.

God bless you!

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com

www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org

KEEPING SECRETS

Last time I tried to establish the argument for transparency and honesty and I believe I may have stirred the honest nest in the minds of traditionalists who believe their wives do not need to know everything. After all what you do not know will not hurt you they claim.

Let us for a moment argue some of the demerits of being open to your wife. There is the story of a man who had an affair with a colleague in the office and as a good Christian ought to do confessed to his wife and sought forgiveness. What happened was that he had worked rather late that day and found that he was alone in this big office with an unmarried female staff who also had to work late. They got talking and one thing led to another and before you could stay Jack Robinson, they found themselves on the floor of the office. The man was so guilty of what he inadvertently did that he immediately confided in his wife.
Unfortunately for him the wife was so distraught by his act of infidelity and for many months could not bring herself to forgive him. At the end of it the man regretted confiding in his wife.

Now you may be tempted on the surface to say the man should have kept his mouth shut and secretly repented but we forget that there is always a third party to every act of infidelity - the other woman or man.

What you may call a mistake may be something completely different for the other person. I have know people who took a mere hug to mean something very romantic and interpreted one's honest gesture quite differently. Now if you happen to make quite an impression on the other person, you may be in for a battle in your hands.

Many times we can never envisage the outcomes of our misdeeds. I am sure if King David had known that his adulterous act with Bathsheba will bring so much untold problems for him, he would have decided that it was not worth all the trouble he went through. For those of us who may not be so conversant with all that transpired later in the life of David, it was this act of indiscretion on his part that led to his son Absalom revolting against him and sleeping with his father's concubines in public. He did his own in private, but he was to reap the shame in public.

While I am not looking at Infidelity just now, the point I am trying to make is that every act has consequences so of them completely beyond our control and therefore unless we have our spouses on the same page with us it may be difficult to face the consequences of our actions.

It was the support of Hilary Clinton that helped her Husband former President Bill Clinton, wade through the Lewinsky episode aside from the fact that he had a sugar coated tongue.

The price you pay for honesty is far less costly in the long run to the price you will have to pay when the truth finally surfaces since nothing can be hidden for ever.

More on this next time. Stay blessed.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/officialecc?ref=hl
www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com

www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org