PLANNING FOR YOUR KIDS 6

When we were growing up our parents literally decided what we should read in school. You were either to be a Doctor, Engineer or a Lawyer. Anything short of that was considered a mistake or an inferior career. In India I am told that when children are born they are identified from birth by what they will become usually either an Engineer or a Doctor.

The issue before us today is whether in planning for your children it is expedient to determine before hand what you want them to become? While I will not go the route of saying either yes or now, I want to tow certain examples from the Bible.

" And there was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name [was] Manoah; and his wife [was] barren, and bare not. And the angel of the LORD appeared unto the woman, and said unto her, Behold now, thou [art] barren, and bearest not: but thou shalt conceive, and bear a son. Now therefore beware, I pray thee, and drink not wine nor strong drink, and eat not any unclean [thing]: For, lo, thou shalt conceive, and bear a son; and no razor shall come on his head: for the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the womb: and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines." Judges 13:2-5 (KJV)

This was the encounter between the mother of Samson and the angel before he was born. God had decided even before Samson came into the world what his assignment would be. Therefore, his mother was given specific directives concerning his life.

How much less stress will parents encounter if only they know the specific assignment of their children on earth. What I am canvassing is that it is possible to decide before hand what your child will become by asking God to reveal the destiny of your children to you.

"The secret [things belong] unto the LORD our God: but those [things which are] revealed [belong] unto us and to our children for ever, that [we] may do all the words of this law." Deuteronomy 29:29 (KJV)

You will do yourself a world of good if you start asking God even before your kids are born what their assignment will be here on earth. When God reveals his intentions for them to you it makes it a lot easier to guide them with confidence that they will fulfill God's madate on earth.

Remember that children are a gift from the Lord, He has a supreme claim on them and we as parents are just custodians, therefore it is God's will that should be uppermost when considering the future of our kids.

Take time to pray about the future of your children for the next two weeks and let God speak to you. He surely will if you only ask him.

Be blessed.

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PLANNING FOR KIDS 5

"But don't begin until you count the cost. For who will begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, "There's the person who started that building and couldn't finish it." Luke 14: 28-30

In our discussions on this very important issue I have tried to advocate that laying a solid, workable plan for your kids BEFORE they are born is of prime importance and a strategic move. However I will like to address those of us who did not have the privilege of this kind of information and we have kids we did not strategically plan for. Notice I used the word strategically deliberately because many of us planned the number of kids to have and that was just it. No financial projections whatsoever.

So if you are like me who has 5 kids what do you do?

The first thing is to seat down and take stocks. You need to determine with your spouse you total family income from all sources including expected receivables. Once that is done you want to look at what your anticipated expenditure will be say if you were to put your kids in private schools as against public schools.

May I say this, much as one will desire to send his kids to private schools, unless your income is such that will be able to meet this responsibility it will be a better option to send them to good public institutions. There a few good public institutions and if you ask the right people you will find one that will not break your bank account.

Know that it is not only sending them to school that is prime importance, feeding and clothing them as well as giving them a roof over their heads is also crucial to their well being and optimal growth and devlopment.

Another thing you may need to seriously consider are alternatives! What do I mean? You do not need to always buy the very best or the most expensive things for your kids. there are always less expensive alternatives that you can afford. It does not make sense to try to be like the "Joneses" and ending up in debt.

I have heard parents say that they do not want their children to feel inferior to their mates and so they go over themselves to give them things they can ill afford. This attitude is counterproductive because whether you believe or not your children know what you can afford and what you cannot afford. Have they not heard you and your spouse quarrel over money in the past?

Another drawback to this attitude is that you are teaching your children to live beyond their means and this is the greatest challenge of the Nigerian middle class. The Middle class is not very poor but not so rich either. The dilemma of this class of people is that they want their children to compete children of the rich and they constantly stretch themselves to meet up with this demand.

This leads to many problems including a rising debt profile and high blood pressure.

It really does not matter if your kids go to a public school; what matter is for you to inculcate the attitude of hard work and scholarship in them. You may want to provide them with extra tutorials (lessons) to augment what they are taught in school.

Believe it or not the public schools still have the best teachers.

God bless you

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PLANNING FOR YOUR KIDS 4

“A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children…” Proverbs 13:22a

Folks last time I advocated saving up for your children before they are born as an important strategy for planning for them and today I will like take this discussion a notch further by advocating that savings should not be an end in itself but a means to an end.

What do I mean by this statement? I mean that savings alone may not give your children the required leverage they need to get ahead of their peers and fulfill their full potentials.

What will give them that edge is INVESTMENT.

There a couple of ways this can be done but the simplest and perhaps the most reliable way is to invest in stocks for your children. 

I remember in my post graduate program in 1988 (27 years ago), I was privileged to analyze Okomu Oil Stock in none of our term papers. At that time the stock price for Okomu Oil was 38K per share. Today the same stock sells for an average of N39.00 per share a capital gain of over 10,000%. 

Let’s do a bit of arithmetic here! Consider that at that time I bought 10,000 shares of Okomu Oil at 38k per share, I would have paid N3,800.00 for the shares. Let us assume that there were no bonus shares (which is unlikely) b y today the 10,000 shares will be worth N390,000.00.

Therefore in planning for your kids’ future, investment is a key factor to consider. You may wish to buy shares for each of them and hold them not necessary for capital gains but as a security or if you like a collateral for their future.

I will like to recommend that you seek professional advice in this regard or find books that will explain how this can be done. I can recommend a book written by my mentor and spiritual father, Dr. James Iruobe titled the way of the Rich as a good way to get started. For a copy of this book, please send a mail to femoreza@yahoo.co.uk to book your copy.

God bless you.

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PLANNING FOR KIDS 3

"And the Lord said to her: Two nations are in your womb, Two peoples shall be separated from your body; One people shall be stronger than the other and the older shall serve the younger" Genesis 25:23

"But did he not make them one, having a remnant of the spirit? And why one? he seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth" Malachi 2:15
 
I want to assume that if you are reading this piece, you must have read the previous two articles preceding this to enable you flow with what we have been considering. I can also assume that you are taking this matter seriously enough to want to do something about it.

If you are with me on this journey then we have reached the stage of putting our thoughts into concrete action.
What then should be the first step to take if you have agreed with your spouse all things considered to have 3 kids? My answer to this is as follows:-

Open a saving account for each of them - This may sound funny because the children have not arrived and we may not even have a name for them yet. Well it does not matter whether they have a name or not, you can open 3 accounts in proxy for them. Just make sure you save a percentage of your monthly income for them.

Lets do a simple arithmetic. Let us say you live in Lagos Nigeria and earn N100,000 per month and say you have agreed with your spouse to have three children. If you are willing to space them out at the rate of 1 child every three years; that is to say the space between their births will be minimum of 3 years, then I will like to propose a plan like this:-


1. Devote 20% of your monthly income as savings in their account. This will amount to N20,000 per month.
2. Distribute the N20,000 as follows:
   (a) Senior child - N10,000.00 per month
  (b) Next child - N6,000.00 per month
   (c) Last child _ N4,000.00 per month
3. Now if you follow my logic of waiting at least  years after marriage before having kids, then you would have saved at least for 24 months before the first child is born.
4. Therefore at the end of 4 months what will be available in the three accounts will be
   (Senior child) N240,000.00
   (Next Child) N144,000.00
   (Last Child) N96,000.00
5. To be more precise what will be available to you when they are born will be
   (Senior child) N240,000
   (Next Child)N360,000
   (Last child) N384,000

 These estimates are based on the assumption that you need to start spending money on them as soon as they are born, but if you want to save money purely for their education and considering the fact that the average child today starts school at 3 years then our calculation should be
  (Senior Child) N600,000
  (Next Child) N576,000
  (Last child) N528,000

More next time

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PLANNING FOR YOUR CHILDREN 2

"And the Lord said to her: Two nations are in your womb, Two peoples shall be separated from your body; One people shall be stronger than the other and the older shall serve the younger" Genesis 25:23

"But did he not make them one, having a remnant of the spirit? And why one? he seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth" Malachi 2:15

The most important decision a couple will make concerning their children is to decide how many kids you want to raise. This decision is crucial because upon this decision is hinged all other decisions that concern them.

There are certain things that will help the couple make an informed decision in this regard and I will attempt to highlights what I consider the very basic ones. However, I must say these factors work together, because only one factor may not help you reach the best decision.

Before I state some of these factors it is pertinent to reiterate the fact that bringing up children involves a lot of financial and emotional resources. it is not easy to provide adequately for children especially if you have a large family.

1. Your financial background! The amount of resources, actual and envisaged" should be a factor in determining how many children to have. Although you may be very rich today, there is no guarantee that your financial status will remain the same over time. Imagine for a moment what Job went through and what would have happened had his 10 children not died? Granted that the loss of his children was catastrophic but his case would have been made worse had he 10 extra children to cater for. I can imagine Job having 10 kids like my own sons who can eat an elephant in one meal then there would have been a greater problem for him to cope with.

It is not a thing of faith to be a worker earning say $100.00 per month and expect to be able to cater for more than one kid. In fact wisdom expects you to delay having kids for some time in other to build your financial base.

My advice to young couples is to wait at least 2 years after marriage to start having kids. Do not be pressured by family and societal expectation to rush unprepared into this very enormous responsibility. When the chips are down those who pressure you into making such a decision may not be there to help you carry the burden.

2. Your educational background! This may seem unnecessary but I strongly believe that children should be greater than their parents in every sphere of life including educationally. I personally have a Master's degree and my wife is a graduate herself so, I expect that my children will expand the frontiers of education in the family. I have always told my first son that I expect him to have a Doctorate Degree at the least.

Now if a couple are both graduates from Universities, then it will be expected that their children should aspire to be graduates themselves. To train a child to the University level is expensive and takes time. Gone are the days when parents train their children to a level and the children in turn train their siblings. With the rate of employment astronomically high such an expectation will be misplaced.

3. Family Commitments! Yes I say family commitment addressing those of us in Africa and Asia primarily. There are many families that train their first son and depend on him to train the rest of them. If you happen to be such a person then it will be unfair to jettison such an arrangement now you are married. The wise thing to do is to fulfill that obligation at least to one other member of the family before facing your own children. However, if you can cope with doing that as well as handling your own children then fine.

I strongly appeal to wives to understand with their husbands in this regard and to plan to delay having children as suggested above.

More next time!

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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PLANNING FOR YOUR CHILDREN 1

"And the Lord said to her: Two nations are in your womb, Two peoples shall be separated from your body; One people shall be stronger than the other and the older shall serve the younger" Genesis 25:23

"But did he not make them one, having a remnant of the spirit? And why one? he seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth" Malachi 2:15

One of the greatest rewards for marrying is to bear kids. It is not the primary reason but when children come there are supposed to be a blessing. I have deliberately used the words supposed because at the end of the day not all children turn out right.

It is clear to me from the Bible that the mind of God is that we are to raise godly children. It is also clear to me that while we see children as blessings from God, God sees them as nations. This has profound meaning and it imposes a great responsibility of the parents.

Children are not just the product of our intimacy with our spouses, they like the Psalmist says arrows in the hand of God. They have a mandate to fulfill here on earth and we as parents as the agents or if you like the catalysts that will help them fulfill God's mandate for their lives.

The first responsibility that I see in bringing up children is the responsibility of planning. You cannot take on an enormous project without careful planning or else the chances of failure will be enhanced. So it is with the rearing of children. It ought to involve careful and serious reflections and planning on our part as parents if we are to do the right job and to do it right.

If you are just starting out, then you can start right be agreeing prayerfully with your spouse how many children you should have. This may involve you seeing an expert in family planning to help you space your kids.

If kids are very important in God's scheme of things then you cannot afford to let them come by chance. Planning is key.

More next time.

God bless you.

Femiimevbore@gmail.com
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www.lifebuilder.ecwid.com 
www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org