"But did he not make them one, having a remnant of the spirit? And why one? he seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth" Malachi 2:15
The most important decision a couple will make concerning their children is to decide how many kids you want to raise. This decision is crucial because upon this decision is hinged all other decisions that concern them.
There are certain things that will help the couple make an informed decision in this regard and I will attempt to highlights what I consider the very basic ones. However, I must say these factors work together, because only one factor may not help you reach the best decision.
Before I state some of these factors it is pertinent to reiterate the fact that bringing up children involves a lot of financial and emotional resources. it is not easy to provide adequately for children especially if you have a large family.
1. Your financial background! The amount of resources, actual and envisaged" should be a factor in determining how many children to have. Although you may be very rich today, there is no guarantee that your financial status will remain the same over time. Imagine for a moment what Job went through and what would have happened had his 10 children not died? Granted that the loss of his children was catastrophic but his case would have been made worse had he 10 extra children to cater for. I can imagine Job having 10 kids like my own sons who can eat an elephant in one meal then there would have been a greater problem for him to cope with.
It is not a thing of faith to be a worker earning say $100.00 per month and expect to be able to cater for more than one kid. In fact wisdom expects you to delay having kids for some time in other to build your financial base.
My advice to young couples is to wait at least 2 years after marriage to start having kids. Do not be pressured by family and societal expectation to rush unprepared into this very enormous responsibility. When the chips are down those who pressure you into making such a decision may not be there to help you carry the burden.
2. Your educational background! This may seem unnecessary but I strongly believe that children should be greater than their parents in every sphere of life including educationally. I personally have a Master's degree and my wife is a graduate herself so, I expect that my children will expand the frontiers of education in the family. I have always told my first son that I expect him to have a Doctorate Degree at the least.
Now if a couple are both graduates from Universities, then it will be expected that their children should aspire to be graduates themselves. To train a child to the University level is expensive and takes time. Gone are the days when parents train their children to a level and the children in turn train their siblings. With the rate of employment astronomically high such an expectation will be misplaced.
3. Family Commitments! Yes I say family commitment addressing those of us in Africa and Asia primarily. There are many families that train their first son and depend on him to train the rest of them. If you happen to be such a person then it will be unfair to jettison such an arrangement now you are married. The wise thing to do is to fulfill that obligation at least to one other member of the family before facing your own children. However, if you can cope with doing that as well as handling your own children then fine.
I strongly appeal to wives to understand with their husbands in this regard and to plan to delay having children as suggested above.
More next time!
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