UNDERSTANDING THE MARRIAGE COVENANT 8 – TOUGH AND TENDER

"The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, they said to Him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act.  "Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?" They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. Straightening up, Jesus said to her, "Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more."John 8:3-11 (NASB)

 


 Many times our expectations from people are set on high standards while our expectations of ourselves are often set at lower standards. We are quick to excuse our shortcomings while we cry “crucify him” when someone else does something we ourselves may be guilty of.

Whenever we find ourselves in situations and conditions that expose our weak nature and basal tendencies, we hear things like “after all I am only human, and no man is above mistakes”. We also hear excuses like, “It was not my fault” or “it was the devil’s work”. The core of the matter is that we expect people to sympathize with us and understand our imperfections, but when it comes to other people we begin to judge them by other standards.

We are tough on other people but tender on ourselves!

However, Jesus in the passage of scriptures above turns this logic around. The woman was caught in adultery and needed to face the brunt of the law. Unfortunately for the accusers of the woman they failed to recognize some obvious truths:-

·         No man sins alone and there is nothing like a victimless crime. The man with whom the woman was committing adultery was cleverly let off the hook. This is what is termed selective justice. How often we see this play out in the home.

·         Everyone has defaulted one time or the other. No one is infallible!

·         He who comes to equity must come with clean hands like the lawyers say.

·         You only qualify to judge another man when you have first passed the test yourself.

·         Everyone deserves another chance.

How often we see this scenario play out in the home! We are always ready to criticize our partner for failing to play their role in spite of the fact that we on our own part cannot be said to have fully mastered our own roles. We must understand that marriage is a learning process and everyone is a STUDENT when it comes to marriage. 

If we apply these principles in our marriages and relationships there will be less conflicts and breakups.  

To be tough on ourselves – setting very high standards as our moral codes and tender on others, giving everyone the opportunity to learn from their errors and mistakes, is what makes for strong relationships.

The marriage covenant is about being tough on morals and tender in mercies remembering that he who has NO SIN is the only one qualified to crucify another.

God bless you.

Femi Imevbore
+2348080929292
femiimevbore@gmail.com
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www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org



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