UNDERSTANDING THE MARRIAGE COVENANT – PATIENCE AND TOLERANCE - 2

Last time we looked at the principle which I termed “one week in, one week out” that essentially explains how two people with different backgrounds and behaviors ended up blending and bonding in marriage.

Today I want to attempt to outline some factors which can work against the oneness that God in his word has mandated for married couples.

The first major obstacle to unity in the home is the propensity to insist on one’s rights. In this age of a greater clamor for equality and human rights, the Bible’s injunction tends to be viewed as something archaic and only good enough for the history books. Unfortunately nothing man has invented to replace this has worked. 

To be united with your partner is an inescapable goal for the Christian. It is a non negotiable requirement which was spoken not by men but by the mouth of God himself. 

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Gen 2:24-25 (NASB)

I once watched a Christian movie called “Fireproof” which portrayed a couple at the brink of divorce because each of them was living in a self centered world with each blaming the other for not been sensitive to their needs. It was all about “my feelings”, “my desires” and “my needs”. Thank God for godly parents who helped the man to see beyond his own needs (rights) to begin to care more for the needs of his wife. At the end of the movie, the woman also saw through her selfishness and their marriage was saved.

If you keep insisting on having your way and demanding your rights, then you are invariably digging a pit for your marriage that will end up swallowing both you and your partner. Your needs are important but you must realize that living is not about what you want but what you do. It is not so much about self aggrandizement as it is about impacting someone else.

When I hear people complain and say things like “My partner does not appreciate me” “My partner does not care about my needs” I realize that such people lack the basic knowledge about marriage.
God knew too well that the man and woman were two distinct personality but he said “they shall be one flesh” meaning that they are to find a unifying factor that will cement their marriage on a permanent basis. 

When we fail to see this as the ultimate goal in marriage, we become frustrated by what our partner does or fails to do and in the end we want to opt out.

More next time

Femi Imevbore
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femiimevbore@gmail.com
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www.elshaddaicovenantchurch.org


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The story of Jacob and Rachel