I have British author, teacher and itinerant preacher, David Pawson to thank for some of the ideas that will form today’s write up. In my previous articles in examining the duties of the man in the home setting, we looked at the man as the PROVIDER, PROTECTOR AND PROCLAIMER.
However, having listened recently to a message by David Pawson, I find it expedient to tie up the loose ends of my previous postulations based on the incontrovertible fact that God created the man and the woman different.
Gen 1:27 (NASB)
What this implies is that we were created different physically, physiologically and psychologically. It is an established fact that though we have both have 2 hemispheres in our brains, most men use one particular side of the brain while women mostly use the other side of the brain. A typical example is that when in a situation that is threatening or in a fix, most men rely on their INTELLECT while women rely on their INTUITION. Another clear example is the fact that languages are located in the “women side’ of the brain that is why women tend to be better at learning languages than men.
The dilemma we face in modern societies is that the lack of understanding of the purpose of God for the man and the woman has lead to the clamour for what is termed “gender equality and opportunities” forgetting that men and woman are fundamentally different, structurally and otherwise.
What makes a man tick is completely different from what makes a woman tick and we must understand that this distinction is not intended to separate us but to make us complement each other and be more accommodating and patient with one another.
It will be wrong for me for example to judge my wife by my standards and expect her to behave the way I will behave in any give situation because she just does not have the capacity. My wife can through mentoring and tutoring learn to use the “male” part of the brain but it will be unfair for me to expect that she will be what she is not fundamentally designed or as they say wired to be.
I should understand that my wife is likely to say things she does not mean (and she says a lot of them anyway) and I am expected to understand while in the same vein she will hold me responsible for every word I say. In other words everyman must expect that his wife takes his words seriously while he should not take hers that seriously.
To stretch this matter further a woman is likely when frustrated to say a lot of unpleasant words to her husband even if she does not really mean them as a way of “letting off steam” but that same wife will remember for a long time any unpleasant word spoken to her by the same husband.
Therefore it will take a man who lacks understanding to begin to trade abuses with his wife when she is angry because while she may not mean a lot of the “rubbish”, the man means exactly what he is saying.
I must also understand that because of our basic anatomical and emotional differences, my wife is more likely to feel more secure by my action more than by my words. My touch means more to her than a million words and she expects me to touch her as often as possible and not only when I want to have sex. Now for most men, touching a woman or what is called “petting” only comes when he is in the “mood” but many women want to be coddled. Being coddled does not automatically translate to wanting sex.
Most women want the man to perform his role as the leader; to take the initiative over many matters; the finances of the home; the children’s education; the rent or mortgage of the house; the future of the children and other sensitive matters. We must remember that God created the man as the “penetrator” while the woman is the “receiver”.
Many women prefer or clamor for a man who will help them clear their doubt, rationalize their thoughts and stabilize their emotions. When the man leaves these things undo it is only a matter of time before trouble sets in.
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