When one thoroughly examines the basic dysfunctions in the home it is easy to trace the origin from the very beginning.
“Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" 2 The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; 3 but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.' " 4 The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! 5 "For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." 6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. 8 They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" 10 He said, "I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself." 11 And He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?" 12 The man said, "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.” Gen 3:1-12 (NASB)
While Adam had perfect understanding of science and nature, he had only a superficial understanding of the woman. I will attempt to illustrate what I mean by some of the actions Adam took with the hope that we men will glean the lessons thereby.
First, Adam exposed his wife to the devil. He was right there when Satan began talking to Eve and he should have immediately intervened. Women are wired to be emotional and impulsive and the man will do the family a world of good if he take up the role for speaking for the family.
Secondly, Adam did not correct the wrong impression that Satan was sowing in the mind of Eve. Satan had distorted what God told Adam and Adam should have corrected the mis-conception. The man is the teacher of his wife. You are to teach your wife what you want her to know and make her become what you want her to be. If your wife does not measure up to your standard, you have a duty to “upgrade” her. This is because though the woman is not the teacher but she has the capacity to influence her husband. Remember it was Eve that gave the apple to Adam and he ate. If the devil had attempted to influence Adam to eat the “forbidden fruit” he would have failed.
Thirdly, Adam should have fought the devil off or warded the devil off. He allowed the devil just enough time to sow the seeds that made the woman disobey God’s words. As soon as Adam saw the devil with his wife, he should have taken action. What this means is that many men tend to sweep things under the carpet in the name of maintaining peace in the home. But what you fail to confront now will confront you sooner or later. The man must be decisive and take action promptly. In other words men must learn to be in charge.
Fourthly, the man failed to take responsibility for his actions and that of his wife. This to me is the original sin. Failure to live up to one’s responsibility and passing the buck! When we blame our wives for the problems in our homes, we are as guilty as Adam and even if we are right in our own estimation, we fall completely short of God’s standard. Though it was Eve that took the apple and gave it to Adam to eat, it was Adam that God confronted and blamed.
Everyman is ultimately responsible for what happens in his own home.
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