SECRETS IN MARRIAGE

In our last discuss, we looked at a scenario where a man who strayed into fornication confessed to his wife and but for the grace of God found it had to receive forgiveness from his wife. He felt that if he had kept the truth to himself, he would have saved himself the trauma he went through.

I am sure many men feel the same way but I tried to establish the fact that nothing done under the sun ever remains a secret forever. the truth will eventually come out and bang - the consequences are often graver that when confession is made ab-initio.

So as not to sound gender biased, let us look at the converse situation. When a woman has a secret in her life, will it be expedient for her to confess or to keep quiet hoping the truth will not be found?

I have come to discover that women also have secrets and most times the secrets of women are better kept than men. If a woman is having an affair for example, she can be very discreet about it. It is usually the man that exposes the secret because men tend to want to show off their sexual prowess. Another secret that women tend to keep from their husbands is if they have had any children before they met their husbands especially if such children were delivered when they were in Secondary School. Because such children tend to bear their father's names it becomes easier for their true identity to be revealed.

The bottom line is that trust and fidelity should be the building blocks of every strong marriage. One should be able to trust one's spouse to be honest and open to me. It is always painful to discover something about your spouse that you ought to have known from the very beginning later in life. It tends to show that your spouse does not trust you enough to share his secrets with you.

While I concede the fact that sometimes been honest with your spouse can have a negative effect but the beauty is that you cannot be held liable for dishonesty. Your spouse can be angry that you did something you ought not to do but cannot say that you lied or kept you action a secret.

To be honest and straightforward is the best position one should always take no matter what. If you spouse fails to forgive you for been honest just remember that if you confess you misdeeds to God, he will forgive you and then you try to forgive yourself and move on.

God bless you!

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