DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

In handling this matter tact and understanding are two key ingredients that will ensure that you succeed in creating an atmosphere where you end up winning the other person over. A man of God once said it is better to lose a battle but win the war than the other way around. In other words went we deal with those we term difficult people our motives and goals are very important in the way things eventually turn out.

The first thing to consider is that very difficult person is a human being! That is to say, they deserve whatever every other human being deserves. Remember, the golden principle which says "Do unto others what you want other to do unto you". (Matthew 7:12)

The second thing to consider is that every difficult person is carrying a baggage of issues from their past. No man was born difficult but our experiences most times forge the way we behave. if this understanding is there what we need do is to empathize with them.

The third consideration is to ensure that another person behavior does not change who you are. A Pastor friend of mine once said you can respond to anything rather than react. If you always react to the way people treat then you are susceptible to manipulations. I once had this experience where my subordinates in the office always connived to work me up and I will burst out in anger. They will always have a laugh that they had succeeded to tune me into annoyance. They were having a field day until one of them confessed and then I knew that I had to change the way I respond to issue. Today they have left me alone because I no longer react to such ploys.

Having said that what do we do:-
1. Take time to study the personality of the person.
2. Find out as much as possible about the past and background of the person. You may just discover that you are not the issue but the person's inability to deal with past hurts and failures.
3. Try as much not to respond immediately. Allow some time to lapse so you can think through. This is not an easy thing to do but with practice you will master the act of slow response to insults and abuse.
4. Seek an audience with the person when things have simmered down. Ask him or her out for a cup of coffee or a drink and try and "break into" the person. There is no person who does not value and appreciate genuine love and care. This may be what they have been waiting for. When you are with them allow them to talk because you are looking for clues to crack their wall of defense.

More next time!

God bless you.

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