HANDLING DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Last time I tried to explain that difficult people are persons who carry as it were a lot of emotional baggages. I do not for one moment believe there is anyone born with the tendency to be rude and uncouth. We are mostly products of our backgrounds and environment as far as our attitudes and behaviors are concerned.

So who is a difficult person? This is a subject that is sometimes difficult to agree on totally as what may be termed difficult in one situation may appear quite normal in another situation but basically there are some traits that are generally associated with difficult people.

1. A difficult person is STUBBORN - Stubbornness is the tendency to have one's way all the time. If one carries such a tendency into marriage, then one is clearly looking for trouble because in marriage compromise is a key ingredient to success.

2. A difficult person is DOMINEERING -this is the tendency to be bossy. To cajole others to do your bidding. Being domineering may not necessarily manifest as being aggressive because you can dominate your spouse without being aggressive. For example a wife who uses sex to dominate her husband may do so in a subtle way.

3. A difficult person is UNFORGIVING - this is the tendency to always bring the other's fault to fore whenever you have an argument. If you keep recycling the others faults and weak points then you have not really forgiven.

4. A difficult person is VENGEFUL - this is the tendency to always repay people for what they have done to you. The principle of an eye for an eye! I used to have a boss who will never take sorry from anyone, he must pay back or else he says he cannot sleep. Now such a disposition can only be taken by someone who can never do wrong. We all need to be forgiven at one time or the other so we need to extend mercy to all who deserve our mercy and to those who do not deserve our mercy.

5. A difficult person is INCORRIGIBLE - the tendency to make repeated mistakes in spite of corrections. It is okay to make a mistake but we are all expected to learn from our mistakes. Therefore when we make the same mistake over and over again, then it is either we have not learned our lessons or we are plainly stupid.

More next time!

God bless you.

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