HANDLING A DIFFICULT PARTNER

First of all I must apologize for another French leave which I had to take to be able to participate fully in our just concluded Easter Leadership Conference, a yearly retreat that brings all our leaders and other delegates from across the globe to Lagos for 4 days of teachings and worship alongside various workshops that leaves you more equipped to face the remaining year. I will like you to be my guest when next we meet at Easter.

Having said that, today's topic came to my mind as a result of a lecture I delivered in an Engineering Services company recently. Because I had to do a bit of research the topic really broadened my scope and made me realize that this is one problem that many face whether in the work place or at home.

Let me lay some foundations here before we delve into what ever I have to say.

The first thing I want to point out here at least in the marriage setting is that every relationship starts out with a lot of courtesy and kind words. Hardly will you stick to someone who is uncouth and rude to you. In fact as soon as the person begins to show signs of being difficult, you are likely going to call it quits. What I am trying to point out is that a difficult person may appear to be gentle and pleasant at the onset because he or she will want to put their best foot forward.

Secondly, being difficult is usually a consequence of background and upbringing. A child who grows up in a house where abuse and unkind words are the norm may very likely imbibe such behavior because he or she sees it as normal.

Thirdly, being a difficult person may arise out of a sudden traumatic experience which the person is unable to cope with psychologically and as a defense mechanism takes the posture of a aggressor.

Fourthly, the difficult person may be demon possesses. As much as you may want to dismiss this possibility, there is compelling evidence to show that many of people are influenced by powers beyond their control. There are many who cannot explain why they behave the way they do and I can only attribute such behavior to demonic manipulations.

It is pertinent to note that difficult people are human beings who are grappling with issues and unless we understand where they are coming from we will always react to them in a way that will always aggravate the situation.

If you spouse is difficult there is hope.

More next time

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